Trust and Language
By Susan Mandel Glazer

In the spring of 2006, I visited several elementary, middle and secondary classrooms to speak with teachers about trust and their students. I talked with teachers and administrators before and after classes and meetings, at coffee shops, in diners, standing in line at the market, on the bus – anywhere I was able to collect information that showed how they demonstrated trust in the children they were teaching. During my observations, I happened to notice that some adults didn't give their full attention to what they were saying when interacting with children. Unfortunately, it seems to me that most distrust results from the use of thoughtless language.

Constructive language
Why is attention to language so important? Camillo Benso di Cavour (1810-1861), an Italian statesman, wrote, "The man who trusts men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them." If one doesn't trust, there are always suspicions, questions and misperceptions. What you might think is a kind response to one of your students could be unintentionally harmful. "Oh, you can do better than that," is one of those responses. Just think about it for a moment. If as a child you were told, "You can do better than that," it might indicate:

• You're not trying hard enough.
• You're goofing off.
• You're lazy.
• You aren't paying attention.
• You don't care enough to do your best.

A more positive way to share sentiments about an academic attempt might be, "That's a wonderful start because you wrote an introduction; keep going!" This constructive language leads the child to know what he or she has done and why it's important. It also informs your student that you have confidence in him or her and believe that he or she can accomplish the goal.

Facilitating a trustful environment
Instead of saying, "Remember what we did yesterday?" and "Somebody's not paying attention!," I try to put a positive spin on things by instead suggesting, "Let's review what we did yesterday," or saying, "Look here. This is what we're working on." My continued advice is to ask yourself before you are about to say something to a child, "Would what I am about to say make me feel the least bit uncomfortable?" If your response is "Yes," then don't say it. Children are affected much more by words than you or I.

Trust is an essential element in any relationship. Without it there can be no learning, listening or literacy interest. Be honest and consistent and your students will be able to trust in order to learn.

Susan Mandel Glazer is the Director of the Center for Reading and Writing at Rider University in Lawrenceville, NJ.

January, 2007, Vol.37, No.4