Laugh Lines April 2006

Spoonerism, Sort of
Some students in my fifth grade class were having trouble getting assignments turned in on time and we discussed the importance of turning work in promptly. Well, one morning a student rushed to hand in his math assignment. He asked, "Did I get the assignment turned in in a manly time?" I must have had a confused look on my face, because he said, "You know, turned in quickly." I then realized that he wanted to turn in the assignment in a "timely manner."
Clint Corby
Wichita, KS

New Anatomy
I was doing a unit on snowmen and decided to incorporate body parts. I pointed to a snowman's eyes and asked my class what they are. "Eyes," a few kids called out. I pointed to the nose and they got that right also. Next, I pointed to the mouth. "Black peas," one child called out excitedly.
Feige Fishelis
Brooklyn, NY

Common Name
One of my kindergarten students asked a parent volunteer, "How do you spell 'dad'?" The volunteer responded, "d-a-d." A nearby student who overheard the conversation said, "Hey, that's the same way my dad spells his name!"
Beth Wilburn
Xenia, OH

Buoyant Bottoms
I am a student at Northwestern College and I was teaching a science lesson to a preschool class at a local school. The topic was water resistance and I asked my students why they thought ducks could stay afloat and not sink in the water (water beads off the feathers; feathers are water-resistant). One of my preschoolers shot his hand in the air, looked at me as if I had asked the simplest question that he had ever heard, and then with sheer confidence said, "Ms. Epp, ducks can float because their butts are like boats!"
Asha Epp
Orange City, IA

Messy Project
I am a teacher's assistant in a third grade math class. One day the teacher demonstrated symmetry by having everyone stand up and copy her as she ran her hand down from the middle of her head to her feet. She then told the students to each get a pair of scissors, apparently for the next activity, but one student joked, "What are we going to do? Cut our bodies in half?"
Idelle Kursman
Rockaway, NJ

How Do You Like Them Apples?
I am 5 feet 9 inches tall and I wore shoes with three-inch heels on my first day of teaching. I announced to my kindergarten students that we would be talking about apples. When I asked what the students knew about this fruit, one student announced that apples help us grow up to be really big. When I confirmed her statement that apples do help us grow, another child got up from her seat, put her head against my leg, measured herself against it and announced, "You must have eaten too many apples." I had no response!
Jessica Zampetti
Teaneck, NJ

April, 2006, Vol.36, No.7