Laugh Lines August/September 2006

Age-Old Compliment
Upon learning that it was my birthday, my first grade class excitedly began to offer congratulations. One of my franker students said, "Boy, you must be really old!" I replied, "Honey, no woman likes to be thought of as old." Then my most sensitive little guy said, "Don't worry Mrs. D'Amico. You aren't old, you just look old."
Joyce D'Amico
Palm Bay, FL

Safe Supplies
During art, one of my kindergarten students stared intently at his glue bottle and proudly announced, "This says no-run glue." I was pleased he had read the environmental print and explained, "Yes, that means when you squeeze it onto something, it won't run all over your paper or project." My student had a definition of his own, though; he added, "Also, it means don't run with glue like you don't run with scissors!"
Kara Dufelmeier
Jacksonville, IL

Breakfast Matters
I was introducing the concept of matter and its various states to my second graders. We did demonstrations proving the state of matter may change if it's exposed to heat or cold. If I mixed an egg and milk, I asked, what would I use to form a solid? One little boy exclaimed, "Salt and pepper!"
Laurie Washburn
Great Meadows, NJ

Class Anthem
Doing my best to conduct an overcrowded sixth grade English class, I was dismayed to see the ESL teacher standing at the doorway with yet another student, José. With no vacant desk or chair, I had to ask José to sit on a window ledge at the far end of the room. "Just let me get this material on the board, and I'll find you a desk and some binoculars," I said jokingly. When I turned from my completed work, I saw the child squinting earnestly. "José, can you see?" I asked. Familiar with our national anthem, the class burst into laughter.
Paula Greene
Las Vegas, NV

Cursive as a Second Language
On the first day of school I had my third grade class give me samples of their handwriting. Many of the students were worried because they hadn't yet learned cursive. I explained to them that we would do this again at the end of the school year to see the progress they had made and how surprised they'd be. Not comforted by this explanation, one of my students raised his hand and asked, with much frustration in his voice, "Mrs. Brown, can I please write in English now?" To this day he'd rather print than write in cursive.
Tonja Brown
Bridgeport, TX

Currency Events
I took my four-year-old daughter with me one summer when I was getting my third grade classroom ready for the new school year. I was busy hanging up bulletin boards when my daughter shouted, "Hey, Mom, do you want to hang up the money guys?" I couldn't figure out what she was talking about until I saw that she was holding up portraits of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington.
Annie Parr
Brazil, IN