Laugh Lines January 2006

Your Own Two Feet
We were changing after recess from snowboots to indoor footwear, when I noticed that one child had his left shoe on his right foot and vice versa. When I told him that he had his shoes on the wrong feet, he looked down and said, with some worry in his voice, "But these are the only feet I have!"
Pat Bradbury
Wisconsin Rapids, WI

Whatever Works
We were working in my third grade reading group on drawing conclusions. For homework that night, I asked the students to draw conclusions as they read a chapter in their books. One little girl raised her hand and asked, "Is it okay if I type my conclusions? I don't really like to draw."
Jennifer Haynes
Ferrum, VA

The Last Word
While screening five-year-olds for kindergarten placement, I asked one little boy his first name. He stated, "Larry." I asked him his last name. He said, "The third." I explained that "the third" meant three people in his family shared the same name, and asked again if he could tell me his last name. "My name is Larry Miller the third. My last name IS the third!" I gave him credit for answering correctly.
Yvette Keel
Hinesville, GA

Misery Loves…Visitors?
Every year I read Jeff Brown's Flat Stanley to my class. The students make their own "Stanley" and write letters to accompany him on his travels to visit family and friends in various places. While reading a student's rough draft, one sentence gave me pause. It read, "Is misery beautiful?" I thought this to be a truly profound question for a second grader to pose. When I asked the student what she meant by the question, she said, "You know, Misery, the state! I want to know if she likes it there." I quickly realized her "Stanley" was going on a trip to Missouri.
Ann Jankoski
Baraboo, WI

Universal Vocab
While teaching first grade, a student asked me how to spell "wonsaponna." "Wonsaponna?" I repeated. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what that word is. Could you use it in a sentence?" He answered impatiently, "You know… once upon a time!"
Karenan Bailey
Leonardstown, MD

I work in an afterschool program with 64 children, grades K-5. As I made my way around the crowded room one day, a kindergartner tugged on my blouse. "I'm writing a story for my mom. How do you spell 'once'?" "O-n-c-e," I answered. A few minutes later, I felt another tug. "How do you spell 'a'?" "How do you think?" I asked. "A," she said, smiling. Moments later, she had another question. "How do you spell 'pon'?" "Do you mean pond?" I asked. The little girl frowned. Raising her voice above the din, she shouted, "I'm not saying 'pond' like water. 'Pon' like 'once a pon'!"
Kathy Miller
Madison, AL

(We received these two submissions within days of each other. Karenan wrote, "This has probably happened to many primary grade teachers at least once!" Apparently so!)