Laugh Lines January 2007

For Your Eyes Only
My first graders have the habit of saying, "Don't look at me" when they notice another child watching them. One day Magon said, "Don't look at me" to Matt. Without skipping a beat, Matt replied, "Don't tell me what to do! They aren't your eyes!"
Veronica Reitzel
Perryville, MO

Playing Possum
I was teaching a lesson on contractions and put a practice example on the board. The words were "that is" and I asked the students what I needed to write. One student said in a very serious voice, "You write 'that,' then make a possum and then an 's.'" He knew it sounded funny, but wasn't sure why. I didn't want to laugh, and while the other students had puzzled looks on their faces, none reacted, so I kept teaching the concept. Five seconds later a student yelled out, "That's an animal!" and we all started laughing.
Asha Epp
Orange City, IA

Moving to the Oldies
I decided to play an old record album that contained movement songs in my kindergarten class. As I pulled the vinyl out of the cardboard cover, one little boy said, "Wow, That's a big CD!"
Gail Payne
Advance, MO

Religious Education
In my role as a member of our town's board of education, I would periodically visit public schools. One such visit in September took me to a third-grade classroom on a Friday. The teacher announced to the class that Monday was a Jewish holiday and there would be no school that day. I asked the boy sitting next to me, "What is the name of the Jewish holiday?" He looked at me and said, "Yom Kippur's birthday."
Barry E. Herman
Hamden, CT

Do the Math
A fourth-grade student of mine turned in her math homework early in the morning. I noticed that she hadn't completed the assignment, so I gave it back to her and told her I would accept it at math time if she could finish it by lunch. After lunch, she proudly waved her assignment and said, "Ms. B., I double-checked it three times!"
Anne Marie Bousquet
Voluntown, CT

Punctuation Violation
I told my class of second graders that they would be Punctuation Police and Capital Cops this school year. I then gave a mini-lesson in which I had written a six-sentence story that was missing punctuation and capitals. I asked the kids to help me find where to put the missing capitals and punctuation. We spent 10 minutes doing this exercise and I was about to send the kids off to apply what they learned to their own previously written pieces. One boy raised his hand and said, "If we are going to be Punctuation Police and Capital Cops, you are going to need to learn to write better!"
Melissa Dorish
Meriden, CT

January, 2007, Vol.37, No.4