Laugh Lines May 2005

The State That Matters
After teaching my fourth grade science class about matter, I gave them a quiz to make sure that the information had sunk in. One of the questions I asked the kids was to list the states of matter. Most of my students correctly answered solid, liquid and gas. However, I had one student whose answer was quite simply, "Texas."
Kellie McCadden
Houston, TX

Never Forget the Comma
Each day I write my kindergartners a simple message on the white board so we can read it together as we begin our day. I vary the closing to my letters and one day I had rushed and written, "Love Mrs. Elliot" at the end. Raevonn piped up and said, "Why do you keep telling us to love you, Mrs. Elliot? We already do!"
Janet Elliot
Goshen, IN

Dear Teacher
This is the best "no homework" letter I've ever received:

Susie's homework was all wet when she came home yesterday. I tried to dry it in the microwave but it caught on fire.
Sorry, Gramma

Jackie McKew
Temecula, CA

Change is Good
I was trying to get the attention of my first graders by quietly writing something on the chalkboard. I turned around and noticed that all were paying attention except one boy. I erased what had been written and wrote something different. I then asked the kids, "What did I change?" To my surprise, the inattentive boy raised his hand. When I called on him, he answered, "Your hair. You got it cut yesterday."
Colleen Kell
Austin, TX

Don't Wear It Out
As I was preparing report cards for my kindergarten class, I asked each student if he or she knew his or her full name. One little girl was confused by the question, so I tried to clarify by asking what her mom and dad called her when she was in trouble.

Her response was, "Brat."
Veronica Reitzel
Perryville, MO

It's a Wild Life
Recently, my first grade students read a poem about a raccoon in class. Of course, that led to a discussion about seeing raccoons around our homes and how we need to remember that they are wild animals and should not be approached, regardless of how cute they look. Immediately, one of my students raised his hand and with great seriousness exclaimed, "You should never get close to wild animals. Some of them might have diabetes!" Another boy joined in that he too, knew that some animals have diabetes and are very dangerous. Fortunately, one of the other kids cleared up the disease name by suggesting that the boys were really thinking about rabies.
Carolyn Gibson
Granville, OH