Laugh Lines November/December 2003

Take a Deep Breath
I was teaching keyboarding to sixth graders and several of them were telling me that they could type very quickly using the "hunt and peck" method. I was explaining that learning to type correctly would improve not only speed but also accuracy. As an example, I told them that their sixth grade teacher could type 120 words per minute without "air." The class became very still and I could tell that something I had said wasn't quite right. One hand went up and a boy asked, "But, how could she hold her breath that long?" I started laughing and said that I needed to speak more clearly and what I meant to say was, "Without e-r-r-o-r." They all breathed a sigh of relief.
Michele Herrick
Omaha, NE

The Beast of the Bunch
One day when I returned to my third grade class after lunch, one of my students was standing at the board with a huge smile on her face. I saw she had written, "Ms. Strandberg is the Beast Teacher!" I smiled and said how nice it was and then asked the kids to get out their reading books while I went to the drinking fountain. In the hall I had a laugh and discreetly showed my "beastly" message to several other teachers. All afternoon, teachers made excuses to come talk to me so they could glance at my board.
Tamara Strandberg
Chaska, MN

Hand Writing
Since kids often know how to write their names when they start school, the hardest part for a teacher is getting them to write their names correctly. One day in class, one of my kiddos had finally mastered both his first and last name. I said to him, "Christopher, that is beautiful handwriting!" His excited reply was, "I know! And I didn't even use my hand, I used a pencil!"
Tiffany Gosseen
Keytesville, MO

Before Grass
I teach in a Catholic school and every year during Advent, I have my third graders choose a part of the Christmas story to illustrate. One student, who had drawn a picture of Mary, Joseph and the Baby Jesus in the stable, brought me his picture and said, "I don't know what color to use for the ground because I already used brown for the stable." I looked at his picture and suggested, "Why don't you color the ground green, then?" The student looked at me for a moment and asked, "Do you think they had grass back then?"
Sarah Boyd
Bellingham, WA

Tortoise and the Hair
I asked one of my first graders to read to me the story of the Tortoise and the Hare. As she began, I asked her what the author meant when she said, "Hare." Her first response was, "You know, the stuff on top of your head." I explained that "hair" was spelled differently and that this was a different kind. I asked her if she knew of any other kind of "hare." She replied in a questioning voice, "The hair on your chest?"
Rebecca Wilson
Chicago, IL

November/December, 2003, Vol.34, No.3