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The Parent Connection August/September 2003
By Donna Pitino

A Monthly Newsletter for Parents

For a printable version of The Parent Connection click here. PDF 77KB

Dear Parents
Back-to-school basics

Welcome to a new school year – an exciting time for you and your child! As a former teacher and a mother of two, I'll try to give information you'll value as a parent. In this issue, we'll focus on back-to-school basics.

I Wish I Had Known
When my first daughter started school, I wish I had known I would be reduced to a blubbering idiot! I had been prepared to confidently escort my child into school and happily wave good-bye. Isn't that the same advice I'd given the parents of my students? Not so easy when it's your own offspring! So be prepared for unexpected emotions, not just from your child, but from yourself. Your child's first year and later transitions, such as a move to middle school, can be especially emotional. Knowing this is natural can make it easier on both of you. If emotions run high, accept the feelings, but try not to let tears carry you away in front of your child. Wave good-bye, take a deep breath and go have a good cry (and a good cup of tea). It's normal.

Quote of the Month
"My responsibility for raising Alex extends beyond ensuring that she has enough food and a solid roof over her head. I am also her teacher, one of the handful of people in her world responsible for helping her learn to deal with the choices life will inevitably present to her."
– from Raising Alex: Teaching a Child to Make Smart Choices by Steve Reilly (Peanut Butter Publishing, 1998).

Self-Esteem At Home
As a parent, you are your child's first and most important teacher. Once your child is in school, how can you help build your child's skills as well as his or her self-esteem? Try "the three "L's:"

Listening. Ask your child about his or her day. What did he or she do? Learn? What was his or her favorite part? Least favorite part? Be sure to listen attentively to your child's answers.

Lifelong learning. Teach your child to be a keen observer of the world around him or her. Be open to new possibilities yourself and show your child the value in learning something new every day.

Loving. No matter what happens in or out of school, let your child know that you will always be there to love him or her.

Books Worth a Look

Who Moved My Cheese? for Kids by Spencer Johnson (Putnam, 2003). This terrific picture book will help your kids view change as a positive experience, a lesson that's easily applied to school and beyond.

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn (Child Welfare League of America, 1995). Chester Raccoon is nervous about starting school and would rather stay home. His mother kisses his palm and tells him to press it to his cheek for another "kiss" whenever he feels lonely.

If You Take a Mouse to School by Laura Numeroff (HarperCollins, 2002). "If you take a mouse to school, he'll ask you for your lunchbox. When you give him your lunchbox, he'll want..." If your children loved the adventures of this little mouse in his previous books, this one will really make them smile as they head off to school.

For older kids:
New Kid in School, adapted by Jasmine Jones (Hyperion, 2003). From the "Lizzie McGuire" series, this book takes a light-hearted look at peer pressure. Although the book is aimed at girls, boys will enjoy the antics of Lizzie's younger brother. This book, which features popular television characters, is a good choice for reluctant readers.

Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli (Knopf, 2003). This brilliant novel is narrated by a young boy living on the streets of Nazi-occupied Warsaw. He thinks he wants to become a Nazi one day until he witnesses events that change him forever.

For Parents
Raising Alex: Teaching a Child to Make Smart Choices by Steve Reilly (Peanut Butter Publishing, 1998). This book gives common-sense advice on boundaries, encouragement and consequences. It's a great way to begin teaching kids how to make choices early in life, a skill they never outgrow.

Ways to Stay Involved

  • Attend PTO/PTA meetings

  • Help in the school library or cafeteria or with special events

  • Read to your younger child's class

  • Speak about your career or hobby to your older child's class

  • Chaperone field trips or school dances

  • Organize a Parent Club that meets to discuss issues or just gets together for fun

  • During the holidays, organize small groups of parents to watch each other's kids. One group babysits while the other runs errands, shops, etc. – then alternate!

Be creative; there are fun ways you can stay connected to your child's education!

Time Out... for You!
Back to school and homework and sports, music lessons and…well, back to a schedule that can be more stressful than the quieter days of summer. While you're focusing on the needs of your children, it's also important to find some quiet time for yourself. Try getting up 10 or 15 minutes earlier than usual (I know, all you want to do is sleep, but it's only a few minutes!). Take that peaceful time to reflect or just to enjoy the stillness of the early morning while everyone else is still asleep. You'll be surprised at how much calmer your day will begin.

Easing Into a New Year
Bringing your child to take a tour, see the classroom and meet the teacher are great ways to ease into a new school year. Many schools offer an "Open House" before school begins, or encourage the arrangement of individual visits. Remember, the first day of school may be a bit busy for chatting with the teacher, so scheduling visits before school works best of all. If visiting is not possible, younger children can draw and mail a picture to the teacher, while an older child may wish to send a short note to introduce him- or herself. These simple actions can lessen tension about school for your kids.

Tried and True Homework Tips
Establishing healthy homework habits at an early age is important for both you and your child. Consistency will make your child feel more comfortable and confident while working. Here are some homework tips that will help you maintain your sanity and keep your child on-task:

  1. Create a set homework spot for your child. This special spot could be his or her own desk or the kitchen table.

  2. Keep it quiet. Although some children do well with soft background music, most do their best when televisions are off and other family members are not too loud.

  3. Ensure that supplies are within reach. Try keeping things like paper, pencils, erasers, crayons, etc. in a box or basket.

  4. Set a time. Your child should know that homework needs to be done before television or the computer or the phone. Give your child 15-30 minutes to unwind and then homework is expected to begin.

  5. Monitor progress. Younger children may need help understanding directions. Older children may need time reminders in order to organize their assignments.

  6. Offer guidance, but don't do the work for your child. Instead, point out small ways to improve the work – "Count how many times you used the word ‘good.' Think about other words to use or check the thesaurus."

  7. Encourage. Let your child know when you see effort and improvement. Don't look for perfection.

Finally, be consistent. If you set up a homework plan and stick to it, you and your child will be more relaxed. Then homework can be seen for what it's meant to be: a time to practice skills and develop strong study habits. So start the year by jumping right back into that homework routine. Happy learning!

For a printable version of The Parent Connection click here. PDF 77KB

Donna Pitino was a teacher for 14 years and is now a freelance writer. She is the mother of two daughters.

August/September 2003, Vol.34, No.1