Remembering Best Friends
By Lisa Von Drasek

Maggie was the perfect companion for a librarian – she loved to read!

Last October my dog, Maggie, died after a short illness. My students were familiar with her important place in my family's life. When we discussed taking care of library books, I mentioned that they should be kept away from pets. Everyone heard about how Maggie selected a signed limited edition of Mary Poppins to nibble on.

My office door exhibits a striking portrait of her. When the fourth graders did their back-to-school library scavenger hunt, one of the quests was to find a picture of the librarian's dog. Not hard. What's her name? It's not on the picture or on the door. Finally, a student asked me, "What's your dog's name?" Before long, everybody knew. When we regrouped for discussion I asked, "How did you find out Maggie's name?" We concluded that when you can't find something in the library, it never hurts to ask.

I did tell the older children when Maggie died. The children talked about their pets who had died and how they felt about those losses.

The comfort of books
No matter what grade you teach, I'm sure you have had a student who was grieving the loss of a loved one. Often the loved one is a pet. The loss of Maggie reminded me of how important books focusing on this theme can be.
While I do believe books can heal, I'm not acting as a therapist. I'm presenting materials that may provide comfort to the bereaved. Stories offer an opportunity for students to identify with the characters, to feel their feelings in a safe environment and to provide some insight into their own situation. Often that means they're not alone in their sadness.

The best things
One title that comes to mind is the classic The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst (Aladdin, 1987, ISBN: 0-689-71203-0), in which a little boy's cat has died. To overcome his grief, the boy tries to think of the 10 best things about his cat. This wonderful book can be used as a writing prompt for first through third grade.

The bond between a boy and his dog is captured perfectly in A Dog Like Jack by DyAnne DiSalvo-Ryan.

A Dog Like Jack by DyAnne DiSalvo-Ryan (Holiday House, 2001, ISBN: 0-823-41680-1) is a realistic look at loving and losing a first pet. As a little boy grows up, his dog, Jack, begins to slow down. The first-person narration will help children identify and empathize with the boy's relationship with his dog.

The grieving process
Robie H. Harris walks kids through the grieving process in Goodbye Mousie (McElderry, 2001, ISBN: 0-689-83217-6). This book addresses pet loss matter-of-factly for the very young. The satisfying acts of burying Mousie and remembering his antics show children that grief is a normal feeling.

Another new picture book, Always and Forever by Alan Durant (Harcourt, 2004, ISBN: 0-152-16636-X), also addresses grief. When Fox dies, Mole, Hare and Otter are devastated. They stop doing the things they love, like going outside and cooking good meals. It's only when and Squirrel comes to call that they begin to recover. Squirrel listens to the friends tell stories about Fox, giving them a chance to laugh and remember.

The Dog Chapel: Welcome All Creeds, All Breeds. No Dogmas Allowed. (Abrams, 2002, ISBN: 0-810-93488-4), by artist Stephen Huneck speaks to the importance of ritual. Huneck pairs statements like, "It hurts beyond words to suffer the loss of a friend" with colorful prints of his beloved Labrador Retriever, Sally. Stephen Huneck has built a Dog Chapel as well. Students can send photos and messages to Dog Chapel, 1356 Spaulding Road, St. Johnsbury, VT 05819 or love@dogchapel.com

Healing and remembering
Up in Heaven, written and illustrated by Emma Chichester Clark (Doubleday, 2004, ISBN: 1-842-70333-1) introduces us to Daisy, a dog who was no longer able to keep up with her boy, Arthur. We see Daisy in heaven, playing with old and new friends in flower-covered fields. We also see her watching over Arthur, hearing him ask, "Where is Daisy now?" Daisy sends Arthur dreams of dogs romping in heaven. Arthur seems less sad, but not happy, so Daisy sends Arthur a dream of her giving him a new puppy. We know a new pet won't replace the old one, but time helps to heal grief.

After Maggie died, I read The Last Will and Testament of an Extremely Distinguished Dog by Eugene O'Neill (Holt, 1999, ISBN: 0-805-06170-3). This book is illustrated with award-winning quilt maker Adrienne Yorinks' quilts decorated with photographic transfers of dogs. Told from the point of view of the dog, Blemie, the book says everything that needs to be said to someone who has lost a canine friend. It's appropriate for students 10 and older and can be incorporated in a unit on point of view.

A living tribute
I had thought, as Blemie's mistress did: "When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one." I was comforted to hear from Blemie: "Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again."

As I write this, there is a puppy, named for Newbery award winner Kate DiCamillo, curled on the rug near my feet. I wasn't ready for a new dog but bringing her home seemed, well...right. Our Katie will never replace Maggie, but there's certainly room in our hearts for her and the others to come.

Lisa Von Drasek is Children's Librarian at the School for Children, Bank Street College of Education, in New York, NY.