Meet the Parents
By Peter W. Cookson, Jr.

For some teachers, parents are "the other." No doubt you've already heard chatter in the teacher's lounge about how Johnny is just like his daddy, Sally is just like her mother and therefore there is little that can be done to help either of them. Blaming parents for perceived shortcomings in their children is one of the oldest teacher strategies for escaping responsibility.

As difficult as it is at times, it's critically important to see the goodness in every parent and to understand that every parent wants the best for his or her child. What makes parenting difficult is that so many demands are placed on parents including: financial struggle, marital conflict or simply not having the time required for successful parenting. Here are few principles by which every teacher can establish a rewarding relationship with parents.

Compassion. Even under the best of circumstances, being a parent is demanding – and most parents rarely operate under the best of circumstances. In today's hurried, harried world there's little time for those activities that arise from trying to understand others. The best thing a teacher can do is to suspend judgment about the values of parents and treat all parents as though they are worthy of admiration.

Inclusion. Most parents feel isolated from the school community. Make sure that you include parents in as many school activities as you can and reach out to parents in person and by telephone, mail and e-mail. They should know what's going on in your classroom and feel like they have an open line of communication.

Engagement. A healthy school is a school where parents are involved in all aspects of the school's life. Most parents love to work with children, love to be part of their child's education and feel honored and gratified to be included in his or her development.

Often, when I think back over my teaching career, I remember certain parents and how they ached inside for their children, how they fought for their children and what pride they took in their achievements. As a teacher, you can be a friend to parents and honor the things that they do for their children. Many of you are parents, too, and recognize that being a parent is the toughest job in the world. Teaching is only the second toughest.

Peter W. Cookson, Jr. is the founder of TCinnovations and the Dean of the Graduate School of Education of Lewis & Clark College. He is also founder of the Center for Educational Outreach & Innovation at Teachers College.

February, 2004. Volume 34, Number 5.