Learning the Hard Way
By Peter Barnes

Teaching is always a learning experience. Here are four lessons I will never forget.

1. Always pre-approve all food items It seemed harmless enough. Ten extra credit points for songs, poems or food related to the invertebrate project. And so it was, until one creative student brought in chunks of cold octopus to go with his presentation. The results were similar to an episode of Fear Factor – three students throwing up in sinks and bathrooms, most of the rest screaming in horror. Food must now be pre-sampled by Mr. Barnes for all science projects.
2. Beware of Styrofoam®
   When I found the stack of thin Styrofoam® sheets at a yard sale, I thought it was a goldmine. Light and strong, they seemed perfect for our upcoming study of the forces of flight. What I didn't know is that Styrofoam® crumbles into a powdery dust when cut with scissors. The airplanes flew great, but my classroom ended up looking like ski season at Vail. Two hours of cleanup later, I resolved to stick with paper the next time.
3. No scary stories for the little ones
   On a quiet afternoon close to Halloween, I decided to treat my second graders with an original scary story about a retired teacher named Mrs. Wigglebottom who lives in a basement closet of the school. In my story, Mrs. Wigglebottom captures students who don't do their homework and keeps them in her closet doing math problems until all hours of the night. For weeks afterward, my students refused to go to the bathroom by themselves. One poor boy got so upset at the mention of her name that he hid under his desk and cried on several occasions. Never again will I make up a scary story for students under the age of 10.
4. Kids are not neat painters
   When my class started showing up for our Saturday school improvement project and begged to help with the painting, I was too impressed with their enthusiasm to refuse. There were drop cloths on the floor, I reasoned, what could possibly go wrong? I returned 20 minutes later to a hallway that looked like a meltdown at the Benjamin Moore plant. Lesson learned? Enthusiasm is a good thing, but only when properly supervised.

When they happened, these unfortunate events seemed like the end of the world. With time they have become valuable memories that measure my growth as a teacher. Always remember, surviving as a teacher requires a thick skin and a good sense of humor.

Peter Barnes teaches fifth grade at Rawls Byrd Elementary in Williamsburg, VA.