The Cool vs. The Uncool
By Peter Barnes

Social cliques start around fourth or fifth grade and get worse through middle school and beyond. The cool vs. the uncool. Nerds, jocks, popular kids and outsiders – students are categorized by their peers and excluded by those different from them. Students who are not part of the "cool" crowd feel isolated and lonely and are often subjected to insults and derision. Can we convince kids that shutting out those who are different is hurtful and wrong? I struggled a lot with cliques in my classroom last year. Here are some things I'll be trying this year to keep them from dominating my students' interactions.

Attack early and often
Don't be shy about confronting students who are excluding others. Spend class time talking about cliques and why you don't allow them in your classroom. When a group picks on a student, call a class meeting and discuss their actions. Ask students to talk about how exclusion makes them feel. Make it clear that everyone in the classroom will be treated with respect whether they are a close friend or not.

Isolate leaders and help loners
Most cliques have a leader who decides on members and encourages exclusion of outsiders. Leaders must be drawn away from their group during class time. Look for positive ways to use their leadership abilities. Ask them to help new students, plan a social event for the class or lead classroom games and other group activities. Likewise, find the outsiders in the class and support them. Sometimes a kind student can be pulled aside and asked to look out for a lonely classmate. Recognizing a student's special talent or sense of humor can also make them better known by their classmates and more comfortable in the classroom.

Build community
Students who feel like part of a supportive group are less likely to pick on one another or segregate themselves. Talking to students about how things are going in the classroom and really listening to what they have to say builds community and trust. This is class time well spent. Likewise, teach strategies for working effectively in groups. Role-play, talk about how groups should interact and give positive incentives for groups that work well together.

Cliques are a reality and will never be eliminated completely. However, kids can be taught to respect and get along with people different from themselves. Respect for others is probably the most powerful and lasting lesson we can teach them.

Peter Barnes teaches fifth grade in New Albany, OH.